One More Week

If last time I posted was April 3rd, it's been four months since I've touched this blog. That makes me feel bad, because I thought I had it in me to start a project and not stop halfway through. Oh, well. Let's call it a prolonged summer vacation from the blog.

As of now I have one week and one day left in Brazil. All the excitement that consumed me before is slowly being replaced by tinges of nervousness and anxiety. Leaving the country I've lived in for 18 years is no easy thing, even though it has been my dream for quite a while.

You see, a comment on my last post actually inspired me to write this one. "Deep, artistic and passionate soul, that of yours..." he said. I never thought about myself quite in that way. I actually never really stopped to think about myself at all, who I really am, what is really behind this necessity I have to study miles and miles away from home. Maybe it's because I'm always seeking adventure, something new and different... maybe I just get bored easily and need something new to complain about. Or maybe I want to get out of my comfort zone and really grow as a person. I don't know quite yet what my reason is for it all, but this that I'm doing, moving to Boston, it's no game anymore.

This is the real deal.

Greener Grass

After a day of running errands and being yelled at incessantly by one's mother, one does not wish to go to sleep thinking about school the next day. If only each night I could forget that there is school, so I could sleep calmly and peacefully without the constant complaint from the nerdy side of me: "did I forget anything?"

I'll stop complaining about school. Everyone has to do it. I hate it when my friends complain about it, so I really should stop doing the same thing here. But it is true that I have had enough of it.

On a happier note, it's 10:34 PM and I still have countless pages to read for English class. Yeah, you really thought I'd stop complaining about school, but as I search my mind for something more interesting to talk about on this post, it's empty. All I can think about is getting through the school days, wondering if I'll miss it when I'm gone, wondering if I'll complain about college the same way I complain about school.

I probably will. You know why? It's never good enough. It's never good enough for anyone, no matter what you do. If you have one job, there is 99.9% chance that you want a different one. If you have one car, there is a 99.8% chance that you want a different one. People are never ever ever satisfied with the things they have. I think it's hardwired into our little human brains. We constantly need to need different things, because what we have is never good enough.

I just want to find my balance.

Now we're here.

And so I'm back. Break is over. Tomorrow at 6:50 AM my alarm will go off and I will go out into the world, back to the normal school routine that I've been living for the past, what, 14 years or so?

But it's different now. Tomorrow is my last first day of school. Everything I do this semester will be for the last time in that place. In September I will be in a brand new place with brand new people, eating strange food and sleeping in a strange bed while watching strange TV. My life will take such a turn that I won't know what hit me. Until, of course, winter. I have never really experienced winter for more than a vacation period. It'll be so weird.

But for now, more studying and school and blablabla for seven hours a day.

Take out your iPhones.